LiveJournal for Nena.

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Wednesday, July 9th, 2003

Subject:some borin ass survey
Time:11:13 pm.

1. What brand of toothpaste? i like the white out shoOt i fOrqot wha its called - da red pasty thinqy?
2. Shampoo Conditioner in one or separate? separate - if tOqether my hair qon loOk like crap
3. What Brands? lately i been usinq this intestive care herbal essence i alsO like pantene prO-v
4. What flavor dental floss? i stick tO the minty Ones
5. Do you roll your socks or pull them up? i wear sOcks that Only stays at my ankles nOt pass it
6. Toilet paper: wad or fold? wad
7. Do you know Donald Ducks middle name? nOpe
8. Favorite color? red. blue. white. black. qray
9. Summer footwear: my kicks.
10. Apples, oranges, or bananas? bananas =D
11. Lefty or righty? Righty!
12. Glass is half-empty or half-full? half full
13. Bleh or blah? blah
14. What do you like about yourself? id say my persOnalities
15. Would you ever wear Taz boxers? used tO back in them baqqy days
16. Do you sing in the shower? yes
17. Do you talk to your pet? Of cOurse
18. Do you talk to yourself? nO dOubt
19. Do you have a secret crush on your dentist? [cOughs] shes a wOman - but the answer is NO!
20. Do you know your mailman/woman's name? Nah
21. Do you give your mailman/woman a gift on Xmas? nuh huh
22. Do you have 11 toes? nOpe, gOt all ten
23. What is the lamest pick up line you've ever used? I dOnt use pick up lines - i say thinqs frOm the heart.
24. Would you ever buy/use a pink pen? fOr sure
25. Would you ever buy ANYTHING pink? yeh, i gOt plenty Of thinqs that are pink
26. Mickey Mouse or Bugs Bunny? bugs bunny
27. Do you think Daffy Duck is hot? lol maybe
28. Would you ever recite poetry to a girl? if i was qay
29. What color nail polish/lipstick would you wear? brOwnish brOnze
30. Do you bite your lip when you're nervous? yeah - lOwer lips
31. Would you skip school if you had a huge zit between your eyes on picture day? nah thats what make up is fOr - just apply madd cOats of fOundatiOn - cOnclear - pOwder - & ud be gOod tO gO
32. Do tight jeans make guys look gay? yeah sOrt of but it happen tO loOk gOod on sOme
33. How do you take mascara off? water & sOap - messy thOugh
34. Would a girl wearing blue/green mascara turn you on? nah
35. Do you know HOW to figure out bra size? try it On & see if it fits
36. Would you ever wear lip gloss? all day | every day
38. M&MS or Skittles? skittles - i avOid chOcolate but fOr skittles id Only eat the red & pink Ones
39. Do you go to public places with your mom, and actually TALK to her? with my dad - yeah.
40. What is 1+1? 2 [i may suck at math but puhleeze thats preschoOl]
41. What is your favorite holiday? probably xmas
42. Pick one: RuPaul or Dennis Rodman: dennis rOdman but rupaul amuses me.
43. How old are you? almOst eighteen darling
44. How old do you WANT to be? twenty =]
45. Where do you want to live? where i'm happy
46. Where do you want to go? africa
47. Who do you want to meet? carmelO anthOny, allen iversOn, david scOtt, & clarence thOmas
48. Do you like Kool-Aid? SURE
49. Does pine-sol smell good? nah its iight
50. What are your favorite pizza toppings? extra cheese
51. Do you like toast? yup =]
52. Do you still carve pumpkins? last time i did it was when i was nine
53. Do you still leave cookies & milk out for Santa? nah
54. Have you lost all your (baby) teeth? a lOng time agO
55. Have your wisdom teeth seen light yet? i dOubt it
56. Clear or colored? be specific
57. When your dentist asked, what flavor fluoride did you pick? i always chOose the strawberry Or the fruity Ones but hOnestly the taste makes me wanna thrOw up.
58. Where is your hand right NOW? typing On da keybOard. what did u think? i had One hand inside my pants? yOu nasty survey creatOr yOu!
59. What is better: your right ear or left pinky? my right ear
60. Okay or O'tay? Okay
61. French poodle or french kiss? french kiss - nOn resistible lOl
62. Are 2 x 4s really 2 inches by 4 inches? dunnO
64. Do you have a 2 x 4 or a 1 x 2? what?
65. Do you know your parents' birthdays/ages? Only my dad's
66. Do you know your siblings birthdays/ages? n/a
67. Does your grandma tell you she is 29? my grandpa used tO tease wOmen he was like in his twenties, lOl, big ass wOmanizer [ i see where my dad fOllOws, shoOt] R.I.P. grandpa [muah]
68. Have you ever used colored white-out? they have it in colOrs?
69. What do you think of Smurfette? LMAO!
70. What is your favorite book? brOken child
71. How does a cabin far, far away, with a fire, candles, and the one you love sound? sOunds like a hmmm perfect time fOr me to get all nasty =x
72. Salmon or Cod? nOne of em!
73. Crab or Lobster? they bOth taste like shit
74. What sounds better: up or down? dOwn!
75. What sounds better: sideways or sidewards? Sideways
76. Ok, NOW where is your hand? you haven't been simulating me sO it's still On the keybOard - sOrry.
77. Describe the best day of your life: qettin the basketball all tOurnament star trOphy when i was 14 & met jamaal that day [& kissed him]
78. Broom or mop? broom
79. What is your favorite word? lOve & nOw i like elOquent lol
80. Free! Don't have to answer this since there is no question. [sighs] iight
81. What is your full name? alycia marie nadia ------
82. What do you wish your name was? nah i dOnt wanna change my name
83. Describe your kinkiest fantasy. [ahem] thats fOr me tO knOw
84. What is the weirdest middle name you've ever heard? sunil [kemani, baby, i still gOt lOve fOr yOu]
85. Are your feet the same size? yeah
86. Cassettes or CDs? CDs.
87. Is watching "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" a tradition in your home? nah never saw it
88. What are your Christmas traditions? Going to church? Opening presents? Going to relatives? dOn't have any
89. How do you open your envelopes: by my finger and slide thrOugh
90. 10 more to go, are you bored? u big ass liar
91. Do you like onions? it depends
92. What would you name your band, if you had one? never thOught of that
93. Have you ever worn a dress? Yes
94. Did you know that if you talk into a vent, someone in a nearby room will hear you? yeah
95. Frogs or toads? neither
96. Do you believe in making a wish at 11:11? used tO and it wOrks [fOr me at least]
97. 8 or 3? 3
98. How long can you hula-hoop for? shOot i never timed me
99. Did you know Dave is AWESOME? i dOnt know anybOdy with the name of 'dave'
100. You made it. Do you love me now? i cOulda lOve yOu if yOu just sticked tO the Original 21 questiOns.
101. Did you ever eat crayons when you were little? nah
102. On your last birthday, what did you wish for? fOr a true lOve
103. Do you know all the words to the National Anthem? yeah I dO them at every OccasiOns in my schOol
104. Is watching the Superbowl a party in your house? nah, we just pig Out.
105. Are you going to name your son Elvis? nah
106. If not, what? wait - ask me when i'm pregnant
107. What about your daughter? read abOve
108. Describe your most embarrassing moment. embarassing - haven't really been embarassed
109. Do you read tabloids? When I'm in line at the store, yes.
110. Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played?whhhaaaaat?
111. Do you like cotton candy? they deliciOus
112. Do you suffer from cramps? shOot, i have anemia & when yOu cOmbine them with dysmenhOrrea - yOu literally will be left behind in the wOrld fOr the day.
113. Do you have that not-so-fresh feeling? sOmetimes when i be a cOuch pOtatO
114. Favorite food? chicken. strawberries. chinese. italian
115. What would be the first thing you would do if you won the lottery? shOppin spree & set mOney aside fOr charity.
116. Ribbed or plain? ribbed
117. "Lala" or "Skittle de bop du wop"? cuse me?
118. Apple pie or cherry pie? apple
119. Pepsi or Coke? bOth? i can't taste the difference
120. Strawberry or Vanilla? strawberry
121. Favorite movie? lOve & basketball. antwOne fisher. sweet nOvember.
122. Favorite Actor? eddie murphy. denzel washingtOn. derek luke
123. Favorite Actress? halle berry
124. Cheerios or corn flakes? cOrn flakes with sugar On tOp
125. Panty hose or thigh-highs? i like thigh highs but they always rOll dOwn tO my ankles lol
126. Do you shave your legs? yup
127. Midnight or mid-day? midnight
128. Hope or Billy? hOpe
129. Cottonball or Q-tip? COtton ball.
130. Dry or lubricated? Lubricated ;-)
131. Fast or slow? hehe lol =D
132. Hard or soft? if yOur thinkin nasty - hard lol
133. Yogurt or ice-cream? Ice cream
134. Spoon or fork? spoOn
135. Are you crying right now? nO maybe later
136. Fling or flick? flick lol
137. Look at your middle finger, on your right hand, what do you see? nails
138. Look to your left, what do you see? lava lamp, sOda, gum, pictures, lip glOss, pen, necklaces, disks, lOtion, diary, paper, my shirt & chris's pOlO hOodie, printer
139. Look to your right, what do you see? lights, scanner, disks, clarence's phOne number, boxes, and rOn's drawing 'lOve' with flowers arOund it. he gave it tO me. =)
140. Who is at your house right now? my dad, mOments aqO i was all alOne.
141. Are your legs crossed right now? yes
142. Do a few twirls, are you dizzy now? lOl, im nOt gOnna even dO it being that im anemic at this pOint i'd prObably crack my skull Open.
143. Favorite song? 'dreaming Of yOu' by selena
144. Boxers or briefs? BOxers [easier access [winks] ]
145. Tootsie pops or blowpops? BlowpOps
146. Big Red, Juicy Fruit, or Doublemint? juicy fruit [chewin On it right nOw]
147. Do you like to fish? [shrugs] its been a while.
148. Is your grandpa cool? =/ next
149. Does your grandpa bore you with long stories? nO he was the silent One
150. Do you snore? nO
151. Describe how your breath smells right now. it smells fruity lOl
152. If you were a girl, would you rather be "Matilda" or "Alexis." I am a girl, psh.
153. Does it taste good? Can u describe IT!?!?! describe what dOes WHAT taste like?
154. Do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge? lick
155. Do you chew on pens/pencils? A little
156. What is your favorite comic (like in the paper!) the family circus lOl
157. Acting class or class act? acting class
158. Upside-down or downside-up? Upside-dOwn
159. What's up? talkin tO poOh bear & twinkle
160. What does "GROWL TIGER" make you think of? ROugh sex
161. What does this -> .dm,'fglkserhngjkqb; make you think of? cardO's niece arri - she tried tO say sOmething tO me back then lOl [babe i miss ya]
163. Push or pull? pull
164. If a door says pull, do you automatically push? ?? im nOt a dumbass
165. Do you even read those door things? yeah becuz sOmetimes stuff r tricky
166. Do spiders scare you? yeah =x
167. What does? death & snakes
168. Did you know I was scared of FROGS when I was a baby? i thOught this was abOut me lOl
169. What was your first word? dada
170. What was your first phrase? i dunnO
171. What can you not pronounce? i can prOnounce stuff i speak every day
172. Did you know my phone just rang? cOngratulatiOns
173. Is your phone ringing? nO
174. What's your phone number? 1-800-iwantsOmeOne
175. Do you eat your toe-nails? nO
176. Are you in drag right now? NO
177. WalMart or Kmart? WalMart
178. Jim Carrey or Mariah Carey? Mariah carey
179. How many REAL push-ups can you do? tOo weak tO dO push ups tO answer this questiOn
180. How many fake push-ups can you do? what's a fake push up?
181. Go run a mile. You have ten minutes. Are you tired now? run a mile? please id faint in .2
182. Does your bike have 2 wheels? dOnt have a bike
183. Are they flat?
184. Can you do a hand-stand? yes
185. Front or back? bOth
186. Walk backwards for 5 steps. Stop. Turn around. What time is it? 11:10
187. Are you on fire right now? shOot nOt til yOu lit a light up in my ass
188. If I give you a piece of paper, what are the odds of you not eating it? ?????
189. Sprite or 7-up? sprite remix
190. Mug RootBeer or Dr. Pepper? rOot beer
191. Bambi or Thumper? thumper
192. Do you think Flower is hot? [shrugs[]
193. If I told you to jump off a bridge, would you? nO
194. Would you lick Prince's feet for $5? hell No
195. Do you know there are people who would do that for free? mOney talks
196. Umm. can you count how many questions are left? dOnt want tO
197. Is your left pinky right-handed? what?
198. 5+7+8-1234569%555x3=? Im sooo confusiated
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, July 8th, 2003

Subject:mOre survey
Time:9:02 pm.

201. Do you have a tv in your bedroom? nO
202. How many pillows are on your bed? 3
203. What do you normally sleep in? tiqht tank tOps and shOrts
204. Describe your favorite pair of pajamas: my liqht pink shOrts with gray rave tank tOp
205. What size bed do you have? twin lol
206. Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed? no ; its a canopy.
207. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom? nO
208. Do you listen to music while trying to fall asleep? sOmetimes.
209. Describe the last nightmare you had: i had a sexual fantasy with a hulk [nOt a green persOn but a big musclar man] lOl.
210. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? yeah
211. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed? twO plus my dOg and cat
212. Do you sleep in any unusual positions? nO usually i sleep in fetal pOsitiOn
213. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling? nOpe
214. Do you snore? nO i dOnt & i knOw fOr sure.
215. How about drool? Once in a blue moOn
216. Do you have an alarm clock in your room? nO
217. What color is the carpet in your room? blue
218. What's under your bed? bOxes

219. loser/wannabe: loser
220. Doughnuts/bagels: bagels
221. Day/night: niqht
222. Wicked witch of the east/wicked witch of the west: west
223. Heaven/hell: heaven
224. have sex/make love: make lOve
225. Coffee/tea: cOughs.. they bOth nasty!
226. Hamburgers/hotdogs: hOt dOqs
227. Rap/rock: rap
228. Britney/Christina: christina
229. Swiss cheese/american cheese: american
230. Real World/Road Rules: fOr this seasOn? they bOth iight but rOad rules better.
231. Backstreet Boys/*Nsync: nsync
232. Silver/gold: bOth
233. Nike/Adidas: nike
234. McDonalds/Taco Bell: tacO bell
235. Sweet/sour: sOur
236. Punk/emo: nOne Of em
237. Hot/cold: cOld
238. Winter/summer: winter
239. Spring/fall: fall
240. Operas/plays: plays
241. Read/watch tv: watch TV
242. Cd's/tapes: cds
243. Dvd's/vhs: dvds
244. Old/new: new
245. Shorts/skirts: skirts
246. Pink/red: red & fOr certain thinqs - pink
247. Colored pictures/black and white photos: black & white
248. Meat/vegetables: vegetables
249. Mexican food/chinese food: chinese
250. Commercials/infomercials: cOmmercials
251. Scary movies/comedies: i like bOth
252. Bikinis/one piece bathing suits: bikinis
253. Sandals/tennis shoes: sneakers
254. Dogs/cats: dogs
255. Unicorns/fairies: bOth unicOrns r soOoO beautiful
256. Water/land: water
257. Sugar/spice: suqar
258. Black/white: Black
259. ribbons/bows: ribbOns
260. Chicken/beef: chicken
261. Colored christmas lights/regular white christmas lights: cOlOred
262. Cars/trucks: cars
263. Austin Powers/James Bond: james bOnd
264. Popcorn/pretzels: i dOnt really like em
265. Hip/hop: hip
266. Passionate kiss/peck: passiOnate
267. WWE wrestling/ real wrestling: dOnt like em
268. Back rub/foot massage: back rub
269. Picture frames/photo albums: phOtO albums
270. Pens/pencils: pens

271. Eminem: he qoOd
272. Virgins: we special & we rOck =)
273. God: i'm cOnfused ; but i'm a believer
274. The Osbournes: they weird - dysfuntiOnal [mine family is tOo]
275. Reality TV: [shruqs]
276. J.Lo: shes pretty but she Overdid it this time
277. Religion: [shruqs]
278. Emo music: huh?
279. Valentine's Day: was never special
280. Christina Aguilera's comeback: i like it.
281. Homosexuals: they're coOl as lOng they dOnt tOuch me
282. Abortion: against it ; always an Option.
283. Inter-racial relationships: lOve em
284. Murder: ja rule lmfaO - a rat On crack.
285. Death: scary
286. Obesity: americans need tO stOp eating tOo much fast fOod lol [im 20 pOunds overweighted thOugh]
287. Pre-marital sex: it's a cOmmon thing
288. Terrorism: we aint safe nO more
289. Pornography: watching pOrn is iight.
290. Fortune tellers: miss cleO!
291. Threesomes: a sexual fantasy
292. Prostitution: disgraceful
293. Politics: cOnfusing
294. Country music: eww Only like One sOng - cOncrete angel
295. George W. Bush: nOthing but trying tO finish what his father didnt dO
296. Cloning: i think sciencist are getting crazy.
297. Britney's boobs: i lOok better & theyre natural - thank you!
298. Gas prices in America: a ripoff [thanks saddam] [amen jaryn]

What Do You Think Of When You Hear These Common Names?...
299. Jack: the Osbournes?
300. Tiffany: coOkie
301. Ben: nina's cOusin dat tried tO dance with me
302. Maria: maria maria ; that sOng & the west side stOry
303. Jennifer: a girl whO's never true tO herself & Others
304. Nicole: kidman
305. Amy: my dad's qirlfriend's Oldest sister
306. Adam: tj's best friend
307. Richard: hmm dunnO
308. Justin: J.B. =x [dats his real name]
309. Arnold: schwarzenneger
310. Tom: and jerry lol
311. Melissa: my dad's friend's sOn's wife.
312. Charlotte: church
313. Harold: my dads qirlfriend's sOn's middle name
314. John: my uncle
315. Joel: dis bOy whOse shy arOund me & had tO drag him tO sleep with me instead of that small chair.
316. Vanessa: williams
317. Michelle: [shrugs]
318. Kevin: the first dick i tOuched. lol i was six years Old.
319. Brent: this brOtha i last slOw danced with at the juniOr prOm this year
320. Jake: from CaliforniaDreams [jaryn i remember that!]
321. Billy: [shrugs] Oh! the blue pOwer ranger
322. Sarah: this girl frOm my fOrmer schOol
323. Natalie: [shrugs]
324. Christy: One of cardO's ex
325. Nick: whO dates sarah
326. Linda: my fOrmer teammate/classmate priscilla's mOther
327. Taylor: [shrugs]
328. Jordan: a bOy whO graduated with me
329. Jaime: a bitch
330. Adrian: a coOl brOtha i knew

331. Mooned anyone? lmaO yes
332. Been on a diet? yes
333. Been to a foreign country? nO
334. Broken a bone? nO
335. Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling? nO
336. Swear at a teacher? yes
337. Talked to an LJ member via emails or instant messages? yeah
338. Got in a fight? yea
339. Dated a teacher? no
340. Laughed so hard you peed your pants? no
341. Thought about killing your enemy? yes
342. Gone skinny dipping? no
343. Met another LJ member in the flesh? no
344. Told a little white lie? yup
345. Told a secret you swore not to tell? nah, im nOt like that
346. Stolen anything? lol thats One of the reasOns why i cant gO to wal mart anymOre
347. Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid? lol, yes
348. Been on TV? yeah fOr sOme acting stuff lOl
349. Been on the radio? nO
350. Been in a mosh pit? was very clOse tO it
351. Been to a concert? yes
352. Dated one of your best friends? nO
353. Loved someone so much it makes you cry? i dOnt knOw, i think sO
354. Decieved somebody close to you? probably
355. Broken the law? yes
356. Been to a rodeo? nO
357. Been on a talk show? no
358. Been on a game show? no
359. Been on an airplane? yes
360. Got to ride on a firetruck? i think sO
361. Came close to dying? yes
362. Cheated on a bf/gf? yes
363. Gave someone a piggy back ride? yes
364. Terrorized a babysitter? no
365. Made a mud pie? yea
366. Had a dream that you're falling off a cliff? yeah
367. Snuck out of the house at night? yes
368. Been so drunk you don't remember your name? nO
369. Had an eating disorder? yes
370. Felt like you didn't belong? yes
371. Felt like the 3rd wheel? yes
372. Smoked? yes
373. Done drugs? nO
374. Been arrested? no
375. Had your tonsils removed? no
376. Gone to camp? yes
377. Won a bet? yes
378. Written a love letter? yes
379. Gone out of your way to be with the one you love? yes
380. Written a love poem? yes
381. Kissed in the rain? hell yeah - lOl like the day after i graduated.
382. Slow danced with someone you love? yes
383. Participated in cyber sex? lmaO yeah
384. Faked an orgasm? yes
385. Stolen a kiss? yes
386. Asked a friend for relationship advice? yes
387. Had a friend steal your bf/gf? nO
388. Watched the sunset/rise with someone you love? i wOuld lOve that
389. Gotten a speeding ticket? no
390. Done jail time? no
391. Had to wear a uniform to work? nO
392. Won a trophy? yes
393. Thrown up in public? nO
394. Bowled a perfect game? nO
395. Failed/got held back? nO
396. Got perfect attendance in grade school? yeah
397. Roasted pumpkin seeds? yeah
398. Taken ballet lessons? yeah
399. Attempted suicide? yeah
400. Cut yourself? yeah
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, July 6th, 2003

Time:4:02 pm.

[qot it off from my qirl : _platinum]

101. If you could have sex with any celebrity, who would it be? CarmelO AnthOny, Derek Luke & Allen IversOn
102. Are you pregnant right now or think you may be pregnant? naw
103. Have you ever had an abortion? nuh huh

104. How many siblings do you have? im the Only child [nO im not lucky at all]
105. What are your parents names? qeOrqia & daniel
106. What are your siblings names? n|a
107. How many siblings does your mother have? five. 2 sisters ; jackie & sharOn frOm the same father 2 brOthers ; rObert & william [chubby] 1 sister ; rOberta frOm anOtha father
108. How many siblings does your father have? 1 ; a brOther
109. Where are your parents from? new lOndOn ; literally nOrtheast Of COnnecticut
110. Is your family close? puh-leeze. hell nO. nOt a bit
111. Does your family get together for holidays? NooOOoo
112. Do you have a drunk uncle? i might.
113. Any medical problems run through your family? heart prOblems ; hiqh bloOd pressure
114. Does someone in your family wear a toupee? i dunnO. i Only knOw my dad.
115. Do you have any nieces or nephews? no ; never will have any =[ unless i qet married.
116. Are your parents divorced?: yup ; when i was three
117. Do you have step-parents?: nO
118. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family? [cOughs]
119. If so for what? --------
120. Did some of your family come to America from another country? yeah ; no less than 100 years aqo.

121. What song do you swear was written about you or your life? dreamin Of you - selena & i cOuld fall in lOve.
122. What's the most embarrasing cd you own? uhm. this 3 doOrs dOwn - rOck band i went tO the concet with a friend - fOr her sake. they signed sOme free cd fOr me. i dOnt listen to em thOugh.
123. What's the best cd you own? selena & aaliyah
124. What song do you absolutely hate? anything by michelle branch or avril. [amen]
125. Do you sing in the shower? lOl yeah.
126. What song reminds you of that special someone? dreaming Of you [u'll knO who u are]

127. Pink: ...can you help me? can anybody hear me? [like jaryn]
128. Aerosmith: i don't know any of their songs. i guess that song from armageddon. i dont wanna miss a thang [the same as jaryn]
129. Madonna: like a virqin
130. Korn: -----
131. Backstreet Boys: i want it that way???
132. The Beatles: -----
133. Sublime: ----
134. J.Lo: all ma pride is all i have...
135. *Nsync: you're ... GONE!
136. Limp Bizkit: ----------
137. Britney Spears: im qoin crazy
138. Creed: ----------
139. Enrique Iglesias: ...BAILAMOS!!!!!!!
140. Good Charlotte: ---
141. Christina Aguilera: i feel under appreciated...for all the time & effort i have put in this commitment
142. Eminem: im sorry mama
144. Kelly Clarkson: what happened to miss independent?
145. Kelly Osbourne: -----
146. Mandy Moore: there's a sonq dats inside of my soul..
147. Eve: let·cha bones crack ; ya back pop i can't stop.
148. Aaliyah: i thought we had forever... i can't understand..
149. Nelly: get up on da dance floor ; give da man wha hes askin for
150. Alicia Keys: im fallinnnnn
151. Incubus: ----

158. Animal: tigers [karel u know dat =) ]
159. Outfit: ma low rider liqht blue jeans with em tan stiletto boots & liqht pink 'china' flowery shirt [v-cut] oh yeah & dis black cat suit =D
160. Radio station: 93.7
161. Movie: antwone fisher. love n basketball.
162. Pair of shoes: air forces. reebok wit red chromes
163. Cartoon: tom & jerry lol
164. Actor: denzel washington ; derek luke ; eddie murphy
165. Actress: halle berry
166. Potato chip: smoky mountain bbq
167. Drink: sprite ... reemiks! [ jaryn we 2 muc a like]
168. Alcoholic drink: i don't drink
169. Holiday: christmas
170. Perfume/cologne: percieve frOm avOn and nOa
171. Pizza topping: extra cheese
172. Jell-o flavor: i don't like jello.
173. Lunch meat: ham
174. Board game: clue and scrabble
175. video game: uhh dunnO
176. Website: mine.
177. Book: brOken child
178. Computer game: dunnO
179. Number: 3
180. Cereal: honey bunches of oats
181. Comedian: chris tucker [he's hott]
182. Dessert: cookie dough ; cheesecake
183. Disney character: [shrugs] belle?
184. Clothing store: D.E.M.O. charlotte russe. fOrever 21.
185. Past time: watching tv. listen to music. sleep.
186. Teacher: mrs. yOung.
187. Childhood toy: my teddy bears
188. Carnival game/ride: the water gun thingy. whOever wins gets sum junk. i qOts me a syracuse basketball =]
189. Candy bar: snickers & twix
190. Magazine: SLAM. seventeen. riqht on. xxl.
191. Salad dressing: caesar
192. Thing to do on the weekend: shop.
193. Hot drink: hot chOcolate
194. Season: winter
195. Sport to watch: basketball or football. baseball is good in person.
196. Person to talk to online: poOh bear. david [twinkle]. karel. clarence [muah] starting 2day - jaryn

197. What color are your sheets? white. purple. teal . blue.
198. What color are your bedroom walls? white
199. Do you have posters on your wall? no ; keepin my room eleqant.
200. If so of what? [ i have posters of carmelo ; allen iverson [couple shrines] ; aaliyah; basketball siqnatures of vince carter & allen iverson]
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Friday, July 4th, 2003

Time:10:50 pm.

iight here r two more pictures i struggled to post up earlier because of my stupid bootlegged computer. lol

My baby Kejuan
-excuse me?-

My baby Kejuan
-im bored. have something entertaining to say?-
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Subject:pictures of me
Time:6:30 pm.
here's some pictures of me that was taken like two days ago. i was being silly. if you see so many blow kisses - it's just my signature. i do that nearly every picture i take. lol.
now you get to see what i look like - nothing special right? told you.
My baby Kejuan
My baby Kejuan
My baby Kejuan
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Wednesday, July 2nd, 2003

Subject:got me lo0kin s0 crazy right n0w...
Time:8:37 pm.

right now im pouting... but id tell you how my day went.

kay, this was offically the first time i stepped outside since last wednesday. it was just me and my pops. we went to waterford's target. i pampered myself and bought this cute light pink shirt and some make up. Yes I'm a fashion and a make up freak too. Mind me not.

Anyway, after that we went out to eat Pizza Hut. I was hyped because they have the most delicious salad bar ever. I got me a big bowl of salad. My dad had some salad and this p'zone. (I don't really like pizza.) Our conversation at dinner was mostly about how ignorant my grandma became right after my grandpa died. His carved plate isn't even at the cemetary and he died two months ago! Since me and my dad are jobless, my grandma refused to help us even when my dad kindly asked for help. If grandpa was still alive, I would be living slightly in better comfort. My grandma even hung up on my dad last night and she told me to tell him that she changed the locks on the door. She's literally pissing me off.

After the eating, we went on a driving stroll along side the beach of New London. It was beautiful. I was looking at the water and how much they provided traquility - I started to day dream about stuff - I'm not sure if I can quite grasp. Then we got to downtown and we passed the bus/train station where Lynnsay and I picked up Kejuan in a apologic hurry. I was thinking about Kejuan and how bad I felt he had to stay there waiting for hours and was losing hope =X But we got him alright.

I was also thinking about Lynnsay. She is my first friend I ever really hung out with. And ever since I left her house, I haven't heard from her and there's something I wanted to do to her was to apologize for what happened that weekend. I felt so bad. I just - I blamed myself all week for that. If you are reading this girl, I'm so sorry. I miss you!

At downtown, I saw me some cute brothas, they were trying to holla but I turned my back at them. I had a man, was no need to go and say what's up. I know what I want, damn it, at least - I hope.

On the way, we decided to visit our loving grandpa. I was standing where he was buried two months ago. I wanted to cry. Just picturing him in a coffin, resting. Better yet, I was picturing him in heaven, smiling down at me and my dad because we are the ONLY people that visit him. Me and my dad agreed that we have not yet grasped the reality that he is gone. I still haven't realized he's gone. At the viewing and the funeral - never at once I believed it was my own grandpa. Of course, I shed so many tears that day but I was simply in denial. =( I miss you gramps.

On the way home, my dad was pissing me off. I was in such a happy mood and started being all smiley or just laughing over good memories. It ticked him off. He was all pissy and I'm like ugh why the fuck do you always have to ruin my mood?! I told him he needed to take some happy pill - that got him laughing - that was a good thing - at least, lol.

Now, I'm home. At ease. I just wish there was some cool cats here to kick the night with. I wanna play basketball but unfortunately I don't think nobody has game around here, lol.

There's something that saddens me right now. A while ago, my dad just told me that college doesn't even look good for me. See, the state was going to pay $11,000 and I was going to add up my scholarships of $9,000. To pay for the whole college year cost $18,000. I was all set. Well I was wrong. Now they are going to pay me only $789. And I only have $9,000. I'm losing hope at this point. Kenneis is telling me there is hope and I should not stop looking for something because if I stop - I have failed. =( This sucks.


~Lightz 0ut~
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Time:12:26 am.
My baby Kejuan
My baby Kejuan

The left one is the newer one.

My long lost friend Cardo
My long lost friend Cardo

He's a model, I miss you =(

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<img [...] blush">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<img src="" alt="My baby Kejuan" />
My baby Kejuan

The left one is the newer one.

<img src="" alt="My long lost friend Cardo" />
My long lost friend Cardo

He's a model, I miss you =(

<img src="" alt="The "MAKE ME BLUSH" J'son" />

He's cute ain't he lol.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, July 1st, 2003

Subject:My Luv is like....Wo!
Time:11:42 pm.
I simply have no clue when was the last time I wrote. Even then, not much has happened since.

The things between me and Kejuan has remained the same. He's still pretty difficult to talk to and he's starting to remind me of RICKY! That's okay, though. I just hope he ain't playing me or stuff. I'm gonna see him on July 12th - probably go to the beach. It wasn't my idea at all. Kejuan brought it up. I don't remember when was the last time a black man offered to go to the beach in the bright, burning sun. He has a heart of a child and said he wanted to go because he want to swim. Other day, he was looking for goggles - lol - silly. He does stuff that would make you smile and actually feel so many different emotion at once. After posting this, I'm going to add a picture of Kejuan and maybe my new ones. So you guys get to see what I look like! LOL - nothing special really.

I have been talking to a lot of people lately. Take J'son for example. I like him a lot and we just easily clicked. He's a singer of the group called Chosen - I am assuming it's an R&B group - never asked him. Anyways, we talked about our trips and basketball games. So many times he just cracked me up. When he was watching me on EBC just simply dancing and singing along to old jams, he interrupted me with saying something. I froze, lol. I was like where the hell did the voice come from and J'son was like can you hear me? Lawd I started blushing like crazy, lol! So every and then I made requests for him to say something so I could get back to blushing.

I met Phil (the Pooh Bear, lol) from Washington D.C. because I'll be moving down there in August so I wanted to meet people and get myself all ready. Phil and I have this weird chemistry. We can bug out easily and stuff. He always be "sleeping on my lap" every time he's bored. I met Los then in the D.C. chatroom and the funny thing is that Phil and Los know each other and in the chatroom they were fighting over me. It was cute! Then I met this chick Danielle, a white chick, but she's cool peoples. I was saying to myself finally a female friend! She's gonna help me around in D.C. when I come down.

Out of all this D.C./Maryland drama, I started to miss someone that was SOOOO close to me. Someone I cared for... someone I dearly loved. Yeah... Cardo. Oh God, I miss talking to him. It's been like three months since we last spoke and I'm not liking it. He's so hard to find. I'm still asking around if anybody knows him. I found out his 13 year old brother Kemani had an AOL name.. I emailed Mani but still - he hasn't read it and the email is like a week old! I'm not even sure if the screenname exists! I'm bugging.

I finally, I mean FINALLY! got to talk to David! He's somebody who knows me too much - too well. He knows literally all of my emotional stages and how often I would be feeling those particular emotions and why. He's a wonderful person to talk to as well. We can just stay online and bug out about so many issues. I can talk to him about everything without feeling I'm being judged. I don't judge him at all - and I won't ever will because I know the person he is. I'm hoping that I'd get to meet him before I go to college, if not possible, I guess when I come home from college could work.
Okay, now, I'm gonna cut it to the crap. The real shit that's bothering me. I'm literally fucking poor. My father has no job and I am as well jobless! We're selling our stuffs just to get quick money. My dad traded the car for a raggedy pick up truck! That makes me feel so poor. Now, I was this close not being able to go to college because I couldn't afford it. Thank God for college scholarships, I got some money and now I can go. My dad's telling me he can't afford for a nice lap top. I'm wondering how can I stay in fashion? Yes, fashion is important to me! My dad just doesn't understand that, hell, he's not a woman.

Aside my pitiful home life, I just got my report card and I got 3.58 gpa - yay! GO ME! GO ME! Ok, I'm bugging and probably boring my readers but the next postings would be my pictures - only if I know how to put 'em here.

Well I besta go...

holl@ at your girl.

(LOL this brotha B'kar is telling me he don't remember where he works and he just got back from his work - silly D.C. men)
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, June 26th, 2003

Time:12:19 pm.
its hot, hot, hot.

that's all i have to say, lol.

my day hasn't really begun...

keep you updated.

its hot, hot, hot.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Subject:another long night/ early morning
Time:4:50 am.
i simply have no clue why i even bother to post another entry nearly 5am. i'm just so bored. i got to talk to kejuan, yay. i'm hoping to see him tomorrow. id just have to call jen up and see what's popping for tomorrow then get on at noon and talk to kejuan. his computer acting up.
while kejuan wasn't on or whatever, Jerry kept me busy the whole time. We pretty much similar. We have similar backgrounds and stuff. He's madd cool and very understanding. i can even talk to kejuan about him and he'd still be responsive. most guys don't like it when a girl they talk to ... talk about their man. i guess Jerry's gonna stick around for a while, lol.
j'son.... oh my god.. he had me cracking up around 3am in the morning. we have soooo many inside jokes. it all started when i was curious how many men do mastrubate... i questioned three guys (not gonna tell you what they say though - they know who they are). i was being silly all night. that's pretty normal for me because i usually get hyped at VERY late night.
anyways, i finally saw my baby carmelo on tv! his goregous baby face. i love his smile... lol he looks like a teddy bear. lol. i hope he does well in the nba... and forget all about lebron.. i have no love for him.. im sorry.. i know im a big ass hater.. but... he reminds me so much of kobe and kobe.. coughs. nothing further.
oohhh, im waiting for someone to respond to my email. i lost touch with a VERY GOOD friend of mine and he just seemed to disappear. So I got on AOL and found his brother's email. He's 13. I remember talking to him when he was 9... he's gonna have flock of girls around him... he got game lol. But anyway, I found Kemani's screenname... Playboi of md... TSK... he saying it all lol. i hope he checks his email so i can finally get in touch with him and hopefully with his sister shaniqua and his brother cardo. they all live in maryland... but moving on to an important issue.
i was in the bathroom brushing my teeth a while ago, was thinking about kejuan. i realized there are some things i want to know more about. i don't think i know if he has siblings and i dont think i know anything about his family.... i'm not sure if that's a good sign =/ because... that last time... i didn't know much about my ex... he ended up cheating on me. so tomorrow.. im gonna ask him stuff... i hope he'd be willing to respond and don't feel somewhat offended.
anyway, i got an appointment tomorrow... so i better head to bed with my lovely jersey (yup the same one kejuan gave me).
talk to you guys later.
stay co0l
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Wednesday, June 25th, 2003

Time:3:15 pm.
i didn't get the chance to talk to Kejuan like i thought i would be able to. he probably had stuff to do ... yeah he's a man and he has a life. so that's okay. i had kennies keeping me company all night until four am. he's so funny. he's a producer, a song writer and he's planning on to start his own clothing line. he's also willing to hear Kejuan sing and if he likes what Kejuan has to offer, he might cut him a deal. i hope it works out for Kejuan. i want to go to washington d.c. and hear about my baby doing big things. (muah) then B'kar showed up on my buddy list and we talked. What a waste... he's 6'4'' and stopped playing basketball. Well somebody has to pay the student loan for his university and of course, he was left with no choice but to work part time. i struggled sleeping. i put kejuan's football jersey that he gave me with his cologne on it (i love how he smells!) over my head and that helped me fall asleep quicker.

Today, Jen came over to pick me up and go to the Quaddick park where there was a lake. A time for swimming was definitely a must, especially in this heated weather. On the way there, she told me her man was going to be there. I was a little pissed off because she promised we were going to spend time together and I assumed it would be the two of us. I was wrong. Her boyfriend... just... aggravates me. At times, he would be insultive. He would say I have fat thighs and fat tummy. What the fuck. what position is he to say such thing? I was FAT when I was a kid so I took it to the heart. Why do white men just simply comment a thick girl as a fat girl? This is one of the reason why I appreciate black men A WHOLE LOT MORE! I thought about Kejuan and how he said he likes me the way I am and the way I look so that kind of helped brighten my day. (thank you hun).
There was this three younguns probably at fourteen years old... two were puerto ricans and one of them were black (looking like former lil bow wow rocking long cornrows) trying to talk to me. I gave them a dirty ass look, lol.
I got home and my dad was already bitching at me. He gets mad for the LITTLEST thing that happen. It drives me crazy. He would always yell at me asking me why I never do things he ask me to do... I told him it was because whenever I do the things he asked me to do and if I do it with several minor mistakes, he gets mad enough to blow the roof off the house! When I do that with my mom, she doesn't even FUCKING care. So many times he threatened me to move back with my mom or being packaged to send me to another country. I hate his guts! Thankfully he's going to his girlfriend's house to fix her sink... actually he's leaving right now.
I truly don't feel well. I'm hoping it's not the dysmenhorrea shit because if it is, I think I will die especially in this heat and no medicine to help ease the pain a little bit. Men, you are just FUCKING lucky you aren't a woman. Well probably not lucky because I love being a woman, lol. I'm light headed right now. My tummy's starting to hurt. I know I need some red meat or other wise I might faint. Yeah I'm anemic when it comes the time of the month.
So people, I'll end this. I'll post some again tonight.
Take care.

(Kejuan, I miss you)
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Tuesday, June 24th, 2003

Subject:i hate this...
Time:3:33 pm.
the funeral was today. it was somewhat beautiful. i always felt left out though. this bitch introduced my dad to every body but never introduced me once...Then my dad be sitting with her and I just sat alone... didn't even talk to nobody but stared at things. I was thinking about life. I want to find love before I die. I have to. It's the only thing I have been wanting since my mother left me. When it was time to say good-bye and we put roses on top of his coffin...people cried. Man, I wanted to cry so bad too. I was thinking of my grandfather that passed away two months ago. I miss him SOOOOOOOOO much. It still hasn't hit me that he is actually gone. I just cut back sniffles.
All the family that haven't seen me in like five years were so shocked of how I turned out. They kept saying you're so beautiful. You're so sweet. You have a great future ahead of you. Only if other people would think like that too... ugh.
I was thinking about Kejuan as well. I was thinking about how could I make the relationship ACTUALLY work. I've never had a relationship that worked out. I want to see if I'm a person that is destined to be with someone, in love, and in a relationship. When I got home, he made me mad. I have to remember there will be no men in the world that will be the guy I dreamt of. I guess that's why I snap at Kejuan every once in a while and when I do that - I FEEEEEEEEL SO ANGRY AT MYSELF. I keep reminding myself - NO ONE WILL BE THE ONE I SEEK IN MY DREAMS. NOT ENTIRELY THE SAME BUT IF THE PERSON RESEMBLES THE PERSON IN MY DREAMS I SHOULD SHUT UP AND APPRECIATE IT.
I'm crying ... I guess... I have so many emotions bottled up inside of me. So much... I'm even afraid to express them to someone because they might think I'm a maniac.
It's just horrible... but I'll pick myself up and move along with thousand of burdens - as usual.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:3:14 am.
Ahhhhhh.. the wake took so long! I'll explain it all tomorrow... when I get back from the funeral. I just got off from talking to Kejuan..... since 11. My back hurts. I might see him thursday, yay (crosses finger) But now my butt is starting to hurt so I better get off according to the fact I have to be up in 3 hours 15 minutes. Yup 6:30 am to get myself started for the funeral. I have a busy week. Wednesday, I might be going to the beach with Jenya. Thursday, I got an appointment and bout to go out with Jenya, her man, and Kejuan with Mahdi (it's a good bye outing for Mahdi - he's going back to United Arab Emeries however u spell that. That's near Iraq, Iran and Turkey.) Friday, I have no clue. Saturday and Sunday - my cousin's graduation and 18th birthday.
God damn I'm one busy chick.
Anyways lemme go.. kisses y'all

::lightz out::
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Monday, June 23rd, 2003

Subject:15 minutes ago...
Time:1:41 pm.
I just woke up 15 minutes ago and already my dad is pushing my buttons! He's making me very pissed off. He's throwing his aggravation at me and that's making me mad because he knows better than that! So much for his having bi-polar depression and it makes the way he is right now. I have to go to the wake tonight with the racist family and he's not making it any better. I have a bad feeling...something bad might go down tonight. Ugh, this just fucking sucks.
Moving on...
I just talked to Kejuan last night probably until early 3 in the morning. Now I'm feening for his touch lol, yeah I'm that addicted. It's not the big things he do, it's all the little things. The hugs, the hand holdings, the kisses, the whole "look into the eyes" stuff...I miss that. Oh well, I'm going to try to make the relationship work... and you're damn right I'd put my best effort in it.
I'm talking to Vishal, my midnight buddy lol (only he knows the reason) I haven't talked to his ass for a minute. He was too busy smoking them greens. But now he's back, yay. Well it's almost two, so I better get my butt off this chair and get moving... quietly.

Take care everybody
Enjoy the sun.

1ne Love
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:12:38 am.
hmm, not much has happened since I last wrote. Literally, right now I'm talking to Kejuan (my baby) on the web cam and talking to J'son. It's finally good to talk to Kejuan especially when I feel uncomfortable to say much all weekend. I just don't speak with more than two people in the room. I'm shy like that, lol. Tomorrow, I have to go to the wake at 5 and stay there until 8. I'm definitely not looking forward to it at all. Then tuesday I have to go to the funeral and stay afterwards with them for reception. I don't know how am I going to go through that. "The best things are free...." I'm definitely out there lol. Saturday I might be going to a graduation party. Oh my lawd, this summer sucks. LOL. I might see Kejuan again soon - for that I'm excited. I feel so comfortable with him. I be looking horrible in mornings and still he wouldn't mind cuddling with me. But let me go, I'm being distracted and not able to answer Kejuan's questions as he wanted me to.
Nighty night people.
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Sunday, June 22nd, 2003

Subject:my first entry
Time:6:12 pm.
Hi, this is going to be my first posting in the livejournal. I don't have a big exciting life. I'd probably write a lot about my thoughts and stuff here.
Right now, I'm feeling... I don't know... strange. So many things are happening right now and I'm not sure if I can handle it all. I'm being put in situations I do not want to be in. Especially going to my dad's girlfriend's father's funeral. The whole family hates me! Even his girlfriend. Then I was invited to my cousin's graduation and 18th birthday and my dad feels insulted by the fact he was no invited. When is this fucking family feud going to end? I'm sick and tired of people telling me to keep dozens of secrets from each other!
Ok, I'm now aggravated but I'm talking to my long time girl Janett, she's easing my soul. I'm very grateful to have her as a friend.
But, I'm hungry... so I'm going to eat. I'll update this before I go to bed.
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